This spread came across my Tumblr feed the other day, and since my life is a hot garbage fire, I thought I'd try it out. What follows is the result. This time I'll be putting my interpretation in italics beneath each card.
Cards 1, 2, & 3 answer the question: What's on fire?
These three cards will be read together at the end of this section.
Card 1. The Magician
The Magician
Using knowledge, resources, and will to create change in the world.
Card 2. Ace of Swords
Ace of Swords
An opportunity for a new way of thinking.
Card 3. Strength
Strength
Calm control and healing that brings strength.
Okay, so these cards speak of my general state. The Magician is about turning learned knowledge into useful action, it speaks of my quest to use my education to make some sort of living. I'm a trained librarian, but I cannot find a full time job in a library. When you tie The Magician with the Ace of Swords it shows my forays into the non-library world, and considering the nature of the layout/question, you can guess how successful I've been with that. (Not at all.) Which leads, of course, to Strength which signifies my state of mind and my relatively recent inability to keep my keep my balance in the face of crushing debt and the fear of future poverty. Right now I am neither emotionally nor economically stable, and though I am highly educated in an actual profession, I can't seem to find a way to translate that education into marketable skills, which, of course, jacks up my stress levels which makes it harder for me to find ways to market myself which stresses me out more which, which, which . . .
Card 4 answers the question: Is it really that bad?
Card 4. The Tower
The Tower
An unexpected event that will change everything.
Hmm, is it really that bad? Yes, yes it is.
I know that this gives The Tower's meaning (from the book) as an unexpected event, but that's a gentle interpretation. Generally, The Tower is considered a card of traumatic change, it's unexpected yes, but it's also painful. It's the crumbling destruction of everything, which can instigate new growth, but that doesn't negate the trauma. At. All.
Card 5 answers the question: Who/what piled up the garbage?
Card 5. The World
The World
Successful completion.
My initial reaction to seeing this card was hysterical laughing. Of course, that's reading it literally as the world. The reality is more complex than that. The cards are more metaphorical.
So The World typically represents the completion, triumph, rewards, etc. etc., right? I look at this and I look at what I have completed, and what is relevant to the rest of the reading. I can also look back to see where I feel like my life started falling apart. Here's where the danger of bias comes to the fore: Did my life start falling apart when I received my Master's degree? My Master's certainly hasn't helped me any, and I've really been feeling like it's hindering. Is this telling me that I'm right? It's my own doing. I piled the garbage that buried me. It could be something else. I could read this card reversed, in which case this card speaks to my fear of change and lack of vision, both of which I suffer from. I don't generally read my cards reversed, and this particular deck doesn't recommend itself to those meanings, but I think in this case the reversed reading fits better.
Card 6 answers the question: Who/what set it ablaze?
Card 6. Nine of Wands
Nine of Wands
Preparing to meet the next challenge.
Have you heard of provisional living? It's where you say, "I'll do this when . . ." instead of actually doing the thing, or even doing the things you need to do to do the thing you want. Like spending all of your time planning the perfect vacation but never actually going anywhere. You live for a future that may never happen. Provisional living is dysfunctional. It's the dysfunctional side to planning and preparation. That's what this card in this reading represents. This, again, ties into fear. That fear of stepping out into the unknown. The fear of doing anything but what I have been doing, which, by the way, isn't working, but trying something else just doesn't seem safe or sane. So I bog myself down in rationalizations and keep hoping for something that if it was going to happen would have by now.
Card 7 answers the question: How can I forgive and move on?
Card 7. Page of Wands
Page of Wands
Someone who is willing to try something new based on will, inspiration, and passion.
And this answers it all, doesn't it? Try something new. Maybe what I've been putting off. A difficult road, one with no guarantee of ease or comfort or success, but it may be the only option left to me.
So, that's it. That's my reading. What do you think?
I love the Tarot. It was the first form of divination that really captured my attention, and ended up being the first (and only) form of divination that I learned well enough to consider myself adept. I'd never be so bold as to call myself a master, especially since I'm constantly learning new things about the Tarot, new readings, new interpretations, new layouts, and the like.
My first deck, the deck I learned on and used for years is the deck in the photograph. My father bought it when he was bumming around Europe in the late 60s/early 70s, and brought it home with him. About a decade later I was born, and less than a decade after that the cards found their way into my hands (totally through theft and trickery on my part) and I was teaching myself to read them.
Incidentally, I wouldn't actually recommend that deck to new learners, the minor arcana lacks the symbolism of the more traditional Rider-Waite deck, resembling a deck of playing cards instead. It's easier to glean the meaning of a deck containing artwork, if you get my meaning. Not that any of that mattered to my eight-year-old self.
I own several decks, each, I've found, has it own subtleties of meaning and preferences of use. The deck I learned on was made in Switzerland by a company called Schaffhouse and, as far as I can tell, are fairly out of use by modern readers, and though I still have it, I only bring it out for special occasions (or if someone requests it). I also own The Robin Wood Tarot—a Rider-Waite descendent, the Witchy Tarot—a fun, very teenager oriented deck, Raymond Buckland's Romani Tarot—a little more hippyish than the Robin Wood deck, a Steampunk themed deck, a Hello Kitty themed deck—a friend of mine from high school gave me that, The Wild Unknown Tarot—a beautiful, nature themed deck, and a set of Medieval Scapini Tarot which one of my brother's friends left at our house in high school. I have at times owned many, many more decks, but, as with anything, sometimes I outgrow them, or they don't work for me, or I think someone else will appreciate and use them more, so I pass them on. I think I gave my friend (and sometimes coauthor of this blog) Leanne my old Rider-Waite and the Mother Earth Round Tarot decks. A few years ago I finally threw out my old and incomplete Thoth deck, which had been missing about five cards for nearly as long as I can remember.
I have other oracle decks because cartomancy is my preferred form of divination—I can even read a deck of playing cards!—but the Tarot is where my heart lies. Which brings me to the reason for this post.
Earlier this week I was desperate to find some old books, and since I packed most of my books up and threw them in my parents basement, that's where I ventured to find them. I spent several hours digging through the many boxes of book piled down there, mostly thinking about how I really need to get rid of most of them, and growing more and more frustrated that I wasn't finding the books that I wanted. One of the things I did find, however, was A Complete Guide to the Tarot by Eden Gray, a book I hadn't seen in over 20 years. It was the book my father bought to go along with his Tarot deck, and was (one of) the book(s) I learned from when I was learning to read the cards. Published in 1970, eleven years before my birth, and with a simple black cover it was just mysterious and occult-ish looking enough for eight-year-old me to fall head-over-heels for. Feeling delightfully nostalgic I decided to bring it upstairs and go through it again as an adult.
It's still a delight, that book. And one from which I can learn. It's more formal than my current reading style, and advocates pulling out a querent card, which I never do. Though I remember going through the Court cards and their meanings and trying to find the perfect one for me or my friends when I was younger. I still use the Celtic cross layout occasionally, and I've begun studies in Western ritualistic magics so the Tree of Life layout in Gray's book will prove, I think, to be helpful. There is one layout that I never use, and never really used as a kid, and that is what I did for myself today. That method is called The Horoscope Method by Eden Gray and is explained below the cut along with my reading.
I'm working on a special project for the month of August. Those of you that know me IRL know that *religiously speaking* I swing with the Polytheist crowd with a slight emphasis on Irish Reconstructionist Paganism. This month, I'll be writing about the god Manannán mac Lir (and posting) every day. I got the idea from this post by Galina Krasskova, and plan on answering most of the questions to the best of my ability, though I am by no means an expert. Oh, and I'll still be doing Poetry Wednesdays, but the poetry will be devotional in nature—also the poems will replace four of the questions. Probably. Oh, and I'm cross-posting this on my personal blog.
Manannán mac Lir chariots over the waves. Art by Loime Studios. I love this piece.
Who is Manannán?
Simply speaking, Manannán mac Lir is the Irish god of the sea. It's actually a bit more complicated than that, but, of course, everything is. And it would be a bit more accurate to say that he's the Celtic god of the sea, and Manx. And possibly Welsh, though I, for one, am more apt to believe that the Welsh deity, Manawyddan, and the Manx/Celtic deity Manannán are two separate but interrelated entities like the Greek Zeus and Roman Jove.
Manannán is a liminal deity, walking much in the in-between. He is associated with both the Tuatha de Danann and their enemies the Fomorians, and could be counted among either group or both. He is the accepted outsider. He is also the guardian (and ruler?) of the Blessed Isles of the Otherworld—Tír na mBean, Tír fo Thonn, Tír na nOg, Emain Ablach, and Mag Mell. He is also known to ferry the souls of the dead to the otherworld.
He is as vast and changeable as the sea itself.
He is a magician, a trickster, a wise man, a fool, a lover, a warrior, a protector, a gatekeeper, a father, and a teacher.
Oh, and he has a wicked sense of humor.
There is so much to this god, and I'm excited to be exploring more of him with you as the month goes on.
On the eve of the summer solstice (yesterday), I started thinking about the importance of regular practice in magical workings. Magic, like writing or music or any other skill, is learned. You may have an aptitude for it, but if you don't nurture that talent you won't get very far with it. The benefits of creating and sticking with a regular schedule of ritual and workings are subtle yet manifold. The more you work at something the easier it becomes for you, you know?
I know that when I stick to regular practice I feel calmer, more grounded, and yet more open and in touch with the various gods and spirits with whom I work. Unfortunately, I'm terrible at keeping with a regular schedule at anything in my life. Life, it seems, likes to get in my way, and I can always find an excuse to not do something even if it's something that I really want to do. I'm working on breaking that habit, but, like with anything, it takes time and practice. And I frustrate so easily.
See, I have a tendency to work manically—in fits and starts. I'll spend days fretting over one or another: researching a god, or learning the magical, medicinal, and culinary uses of an herb, or finding, copying, and/or writing poems and prayers. Then, I'll lose focus, and spend weeks doing nothing but vegging out with Netflix until I feel so guilty for doing so that I jump back into a manic state of work. And everything is done so randomly and in such a slipshod fashion that I get no benefit from it. I learn nothing. I lose focus because I never really had it to begin with.
I decided a while back—though those who know have been saying this for years (I just didn't listen)—to look at my magical and religious practices like I did school. I was brilliant at school. Ruthlessly organized, relentless in my studies, and (once I figured out my major) frighteningly focused. Since I finished my Master's degree, I've been all at ends. For a while it was like I lost my purpose. The sad fact that people with my degree now have an average wait of 10 years before landing a full time job in our field just made it worse. In fact, even now the thing I most regret about my life is that I got a Master's: I don't believe that I will ever work full time in my field, and will leave it (and my crappy part time/no benefits job) as soon as I am able. That's not the point, though. That's not the lesson.*
The point is: what I need, what I believe everyone needs–especially magic workers–is that focus I learned in my years at university.
Regular practice. Regular studies. Regular worship. It helps. Really and truly, it does. When I work on a schedule and not at my own whim, I am much calmer and everything in my life benefits. The slow and incremental learning of anything, helps not only to build a foundation for more advanced skills, but also in retention. To continue with my college analogy, it's much easier and mor effective to study all semester than to desperately cram before the final. My magical practice has, in past years, been that desperate cram session resulting in wonky spells that may or may not work. To fix this I've slowly been adding routine into my practice, and cutting out the mania.
Lately I've been needing more help with that. Last October I quit one of my two part time jobs** and now I have way more time on my hands. Which, for me, means more time to pursue my own interests/studies, and more time to dick around and forget about those interests/studies. To remedy this, I recently bought a weekly planner–just like I had in uni–to help me plan out (and stick to) a more complicated schedule than I was expecting. Oh, and this planner is a magical thing! Room for notes and so much more. And it's much harder to ignore a book than my phone. It'll help me find and maintain a workable schedule for everything I want to do: magic, language, work, search for work, write, worship, and more!
As I am now, I've been able to maintain (for the most part) weekly offerings to my gods, ancestors, and spirits as per my arrangement with them. I haven't kept up with my language studies, but expect that to change with focus. As will my magical studies, since I plan to treat them like actual classes rather than the ad libitum episodes that they are now. All this will help me to deepen my spiritual and magical practices, and help me gain a greater proficiency and knowledge of the things. I encourage everyone looking to deepen and enrich their own practices to do so as well.
Happy solstice everyone! And how cool is it that the full moon and the solstice fall on the same day this year?
*That's a minor rant about my utter disappointment and the waste of about $30K that I couldn't and still can't afford.
**In the hopes that I would soon find a full time position somewhere. Besides that it was a SUPER crappy job. Management treated the part time employees poorly, and the HR person constantly talked to me like I was a mentally handicapped child rather than a full grown woman in her 30s. Sorry, another rant.
As I told you a few weeks ago, my co-blogger, Leanne is dealing with some scary health stuff right now. It was recently discovered that she has a hole in her heart and will have to have open-heart surgery to fix it. She is understandably frightened by this, but especially so because she has a five month old son. So not only is she frightened, but she's feeling a bit depressed too. That is actually a major understatement, but you get my meaning.
Anyway, I decide to write a healing spell and make some charms for her, which I am sharing with you. Well, the charms anyway. I decided to keep the spell back, I think it will be more effective that way, and so it won't be making an appearance on this blog unless Leanne wants to share it after her healing has run it's course.
What I found interesting while creating the charms is that they ended up with two-fold purpose: 1) to aid the physical healing (my intent); and, 2) to aid in emotional/spiritual healing (the fun bonus). So these charms will, I think, help with healing both a physical and metaphorical broken heart! It was a pleasant surprise to say the least.
Charm 1
This is a fairly simple knot charm, tied with red string, and in the shape of a Celtic heart. I'm a big fan of knot charms. They're quick, their easy, and can be quite beautiful. For me, the most difficult thing is learning how to do the fancy knots, because you've got to get it tied while concentrating on your intended purpose. Otherwise, it's just a piece of string knotted prettily.
To make one of these, and to make it magical, you should:
1) Find and prepare your string or cording. It can be as thin as thread, or as thick as rope. Silk, linen, hemp, jute, cotton, or something synthetic. Pick your color, something that radiates your intent. To me, RED is the color of love, strength, and courage, and while it may not be relaxing, I find it to be healing because of those attributes. My string is some kind of synthetic, mostly because it's affordable and easy to work with. I cut it the length I need and scorch the ends. It's also very forgiving, so I can untie and retie the knots until I have them just right.
2) Learn the knot. There are so many different things you can do with rope, so many knots you can tie. This heart knot I thought appropriate for this healing as it represents the part of Leanne's physical body that needs to be healed, also the bits of her spirit that need bolstering, and, well, my love for my best friend.
Practice the knot until you can do it without really thinking about it. You'll want to concentrate on the healing/bolstering while tying, and don't want to have to break that concentration to figure out how the pattern comes together. Now, I don't know these knots perfectly and usually have to go over them a couple of times to make myself comfortable with them. I also still think about the tying of the knot, it's just in the background.
You can learn how to tie this knot here or by watching the video below:
3) Intent. Think on what you want your outcome to be, write a few lines of spell or prayer and mutter them while tying. I picture myself capturing wispy bits of love and healing with every turn of the cord, like a knot that traps and holds the wind. Concentrate on that. It's a meditation, and outflowing of energy, and a binding of that energy to your will.
4) Combine the above to create the charm. As simple and as complicated as that.
Charm 2
Another knot charm, this time in the form of a very simple friendship bracelet. What can I say? I cam of age in the 90s, and these were all the rage. It's a simple pattern, just the repetition of two colors of embroidery floss. These are knots I can tie in my sleep, no reminders necessary.
The colors I chose are true healing colors: blue for calm and patience, and green for physical and emotional healing. With every knot I tied I focused on calm and healing, hoping to ease my friend's fear and strengthen her body.
The steps are the same as the single knot above, just with more repetition.
You can, if you want, make a far, far more complicated pattern, and if you want to do that I recommend Friendship-Bracelets.net to get an idea of what is possible. I felt that my simple and familiar rope-like bracelet was fine for my purpose, so that is what I created. It can also be used as keychain, if the person you're making it for doesn't want to wear it. Or, of course, it could just be set on a shrine or altar.
Charm 3
I found this little mesh(-ish) bag in my bedroom, the green of new growth, and knew I had to send it to Leanne. It's another weird synthetic fabric, but, hey, it was free. I really have no idea where I got it. I decided to make a little bag filled with healing herbs and this was perfect.
Here's what I put in it:
1 bay leaf
fennel seeds
mint
thyme
dried orange peel
1/2 cinnamon stick
1 bloodstone
I put a little over 1/2 teaspoon of each herb in the bag. All the herbs are known for their healing capabilities, and the mixture smells divine.
I added the bloodstone because for some reason or another I bought a bunch of bloodstones a few years back, and because it seemed appropriate. According to one website:
"Bloodstones are also known as stones of courage. It improves physical strength, enhances self-esteem and self-appreciation, and calms anxiousness . . . And it strengthens the heart."
Plus I just like the stone. It seems to have a calming effect on me, and I thought to pass that on to Leanne.
Charm 4
This one I like best.
I cut two hearts out of felt. One I left blank, the other I stitched the word HEAL in Ogham. Then I glued the two pieces of felt together. One side represents the whole, healed heart–the ideal; while the other side represents the damaged heart healing–the reality. I chose Ogham, because I'm studying Irish Polytheism right now, and because I think it looks like stitches. Again, it seemed appropriate.
If you can't see my photograph well, here's what HEAL looks like in Ogham:
᚛ᚆᚕᚂ᚜
I found this Ogham Transliterator online, which was just so useful. I'm totally going to use it again.
The most difficult task was choosing what word to stitch onto the heart (though my stitching leaves a lot to be desired, it's not that hard). In addition to HEAL, I considered HEALING, HEALTH, STRENGTH, HEALTHY, RESTORE, and several others. HEAL, though, is a command and not a description; ultimately, I felt a command was what was needed in this situation.
So those are the charms I made for Leanne. Add to their magic by sending healing thoughts her way. I'll post again at the next full moon, and maybe have an update on Leanne.
I'm sorry. I missed the moon this month, and forgot my post. My fault entirely. A new book I've been waiting for came out and I spent the nights of the full moon reading it. Totally worth it. Also, I literally did no magic for the entire month, and since this blog is meant to record our (my and Leanne's) magical practices first and foremost, I just didn't have much to write anyway. Fortunately, in the coming days and weeks I expect to be busy with an abundance of spells, charms, and prayers, so I'll have a bunch to record at the next full moon. Unfortunately, I'll be doing most of these in honor of my friend an co-blogger, Leanne, who is going through some scary health stuff right now. So it's a good news, bad news sort of situation and any prayers or good vibes sent Leanne's way would be much appreciated.
Until the upcoming full moon I'll leave you with a thought, you could call it a core belief of mine:
Words have both meaning and power, they should be used (and received) with care and precision.
When you look up spells online, or read a book of introductory magic—or even beyond that, you're generally inundated with a need for things: this wand, that candle, that herb or stone or incense. Trappings, that's all they are, and I've found that you don't really need them. What you do need are: a safe space, a quiet head, and an open mind. These are what I believe to be the three essentials to a successful magical practice. Eventually, I'd like to write more in-depth essays on each of them, but, for now, I think a brief introduction will do.
A safe space
A safe space can be anywhere that you won't be disturbed and that you feel, well, safe. It can be anyplace. I currently use my bedroom and sometimes my kitchen, but I have used parks, woods, the shores of both lake and sea. Magic can happen anywhere, but I find that I work best in a space where I'll not be interrupted. I also think that it's best if whatever space you're using is clean, uncluttered, and relatively peaceful. You need a place where you can concentrate, let yourself go, and just be. If you're constantly worried about being stumbled over, interrupted, or, gods forbid, attacked, you just can't get into the correct mindset.
A quiet head
A quiet head is one that is at peace, where your mind's not jabbering at you constantly. It's a mind that's cleared of all thoughts but that of the task before you. This is difficult, but can be cultivated with meditation. The trick is finding a meditation that works for you, and that in itself can be a struggle. One of the reasons, I think, is that we have this idea of meditation as being the emptying out of all thought, so we sit and we struggle because our minds won't stop working. Thoughts keep coming in, we get annoyed with ourselves, and eventually we just give up, usually with a disgusted feeling of "I just can't do this." I don't believe that to be true.
First off, there are several different ways to meditate. You can use a form of moving meditation: dancing, Tai Chi, running, yoga. Moving meditation is just a form of moving where you have to concentrate on the movements your making rather than how you're going to pay your phone bill, or what's going on on your favorite TV show, or whatever. Those thoughts may enter your head, but they don't stay because you have to be all in your body. You have to check your timing, your breathing, where you're hands and feet are. You have to concentrate on what you're doing, rather than what you're thinking. It helps to center you, right? Getting lost in movement.
There's also visualization. You focus on a picture or scene in your mind. You plant a seed and watch that seed grow behind your eyelids. See the roots seeking water and deeper earth, the sprout pushing up towards the sun, see it quiver, see it breathe. Or you can focus on a memory, preferably not an unpleasant one, but something agreeable. The first time you flew a kite, or rode a roller coaster. What did it feel like? What did the wind feel like? The tug on your arms? What color was the sky? Remember the way your heart beat on the way up, and down. Remember the twists and turns, the feel of almost falling. Picture it in the most minute details, the sounds, the smells, the flow of blood through your veins.
Or you can just focus on something something so much that it fills your head. Use a flame, watch it dance, breath with it, stare into the heart of it. Pay attention. Watch that stream stream flow and bubble. See the most minute detail of that tree, try to capture it in you mind. Calm down and just look, choose one thing, and look.
You can do the same with almost anything. The more you practice it, the easier it will be, and the clearer you're brain will feel. You can start slow, five minutes a day, working up to fifteen, twenty, an hour, whatever. Meditation helps to clarify your mind, clean your head out, and can help to minimize the damage negative or obsessive thoughts cause. I'll not claim that it's a cure for depression, because I'm proof that it's not, but, for me, it helps to put things in perspective and kind of break that cycle of "my gods, you're a worthless human being" that I tend to get stuck in. I really can't do anything when I'm in one of those cycles, let alone magic. A quiet head is one that doesn't have those thoughts screaming on repeat constantly, or one that can disregard those thoughts as unimportant and shush whatever unhappy voices that want to take up all the space.
An open mind
What do I mean by an open mind? Imagination, intelligence, the willingness to believe in magic. You need the ability to change the way you look at the world, and the wits to recognize the change. You also need to be able to experiment, to find out what works and what doesn't. You need to learn and continue learning. I find it's helpful to be good with words—some of my most successful spells have been little more than rhyming quatrains. Life is a constant evolution of the mind, and it's my firm belief that if you aren't learning, you aren't living, and living is important. You need to read, write, dance, play, pray. Learn how to raise energy, and to ground it. Find out what's works for you, tweak it, revise it, try again. Find a new way that also works, or doesn't, and tweak that until it feels right. Do it again. Do it again. Find another and do that. Rinse and repeat. Keep learning. Be willing to keep learning. Keep changing. Believe. Know. Know down to your bones. That in itself is a magic.
Be willing to put in the work. Be willing to see the results. That's how you do magic.
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